This is my personal experience with borderline personality disorder and no one else’s. It may be different for you!
At 16 I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder by my family doctor, I spent years trying new medications and therapies trying to manage that. It wasn’t until I was 23 and I attempted to take my own life that I finally saw a psychiatrist and was properly diagnosed as borderline personality disorder.
This explained a lot. It explained my fear of abandonment, it explained why my moods were so up and down, it explained my feelings of worthlessness and it really explained my distorted self image.
Self love has always been difficult for me. There’s days I don’t look in the mirror, days that I literally couldn’t name one good thing about myself if you paid me, and days that I feel everyone would be better off without me. But I want to love myself, I want to see what my mom, partners and bestfriends see in me. I want to be better so badly. But I’m completely aware of how truly difficult it is to change your thinking. Im not saying it’s easy in the slightest, that all you have to do is buy my book for 29.99$. No. It’s a process and it’s important to remember that as well that self love is not a specified end goal where maximum self love is achieved. We are always changing and our perception of self will too.
I know that writing this blog isn’t a cure all for anyone! but I hope that if you find a post interesting, maybe you’ll try and answer a few questions or practice a few reassurances.